Struggle to Speak
by littlev123
Summary: "Funny how he could compete in a bike race watched by crowds of people without batting an eye, but he couldn't handle the idea of talking in front of thirty of his peers. That irony allowed for further self-deprecation to tighten his chest." Naruko/Onoda. Written for Yowapeda Rarepair Week Day 3: hurt & comfort. Rated T for language and speech anxiety. Oneshot.


Onoda fidgeted nervously in his seat, far too aware of the challenge awaiting him. Every fiber of his body thrummed with anxiousness, rendering him unable to remain still for even a moment. Desperately hoping to stop the tremors in his hands, he wiped his sweaty palms on his uniform pants before grasping the material in a tight grip.

In the front of the classroom a female student stood at the podium, confidently reciting her memorized speech. Onoda attempted to focus on the information, but all he could think of was how amazing she sounded. Her confident voice carried clearly throughout the room with hardly any noticeable stumbles. Actually, all four of the teenagers before her had done a remarkable job as well.

That only served to increase the uneasiness that had gripped Onoda's heart. There was no possible way he could do that well. His report was educational and well organized, but that meant nothing unless he could say it out loud in front of the entire classroom.

Giving a speech was vastly different from standing to answer a teacher's question. Those moments were short and he was rarely called on anyway. Now, though, every eye was going to be on him for at least five minutes. His appearance, his voice, his information—everything put on display and judged.

Terrible scenarios ran themselves through his mind. He might trip walking up there, or forget everything he had to say. He could easily make a fool out of himself if he said something wrong. If he did really awful compared to the other students—which he was convinced he would—then he would be seen as a bumbling, dumb kid.

Funny how he could compete in a bike race watched by crowds of people without batting an eye, but he couldn't handle the idea of talking in front of thirty of his peers. That irony allowed for further self-deprecation to tighten his chest.

His gaze flitted over to his right. Naruko sat in the seat beside him, struggling to keep his drooping eyes open. Bored out of his mind, the redhead leaned on his hand, clearly not paying attention to the speaker. Onoda envied him, wishing he could be that relaxed.

When the other students around him politely clapped Onoda nearly jumped. He looked forward to see that the girl had finished and was returning to her seat. His breath caught in his throat. That meant—

"Onoda Sakamichi. Your speech, please." The teacher's words sounded like a death sentence.

Immediately his muscles tensed like a coiled spring. Blood pounding in his ears, he rose stiffly from his seat and began walking up to the podium. Those few steps seemed to take an eternity, his feet weighed down by heavy chains of rising nervousness and downright fear.

When he finally reached the front of the classroom, he stared at the chalkboard for several seconds before reluctantly turning around.

He instantly regretted it.

Onoda froze like a deer in headlights.

While in reality he knew he should realize that this really shouldn't be that big of a deal, his rational mind had all but dissolved into wisps of terrified thoughts.

The movement of familiar red hair caught his eye. Naruko had straightened in his chair, fully awake and watching Onoda. His easygoing grin eased Onoda the slightest bit, or at least enough to allow the raven haired male to muster up the tiny shreds of courage that remained.

Swallowing past the lump in his dry throat, he began to speak.

"For my project, um, speech, I-I was given the topic on something we all know a lot a-about already." His words rang weak and hesitant to his own ears. "I'm going to tell you m-more about mister Fuji—" The moment he realized his mistake his face flushed red with embarrassment. "I-I meant Mount F-Fuji! Um, I…I…"

The rush of shame had chased away all of the words he had tried so hard to drill into his memory. Those hours of practicing yesterday might as well have never happened. Now all he could do was stand there helplessly, struggling under the pressure.

His worst fear had happened. Everyone had seen his blunder. He couldn't take it back, nor could he pretend that it didn't happen. As if he were being cornered, Onoda crossed his arms tightly across his chest and seemed to shrink in on himself.

Too much. This was all too much. The stares, the very real possibility of failing the assignment, the silent judgements, thinking that oh god he must look like such a screw up _—_

Suddenly, all of the building tension reached a horrifying peak that he couldn't handle. Moving purely on the instinctive need to leave the stressful situation, he bolted out of the classroom.

Silence pervaded the classroom for the first minute. Then, whispers started floating around between classmates. Naruko looked at the open door in shock. Worry sinking in, the redhead abruptly stood from his chair.

"I really need to go the bathroom, teacher!" Without waiting for a response, he ran out of the room as well.

Once he was out he glanced down the hall, wondering where Onoda would have run off to. The otaku probably wanted to hide somewhere, and the closest somewhat secure place was the nearby restroom. Naruko quickly made his way toward it and stepped inside.

He stopped. There, back against the wall, sat Onoda. Arms curled around the legs against his chest, the boy fought back the tears pricking the corners of his eyes. His breathing came fast and short, stilted by the occasional suppress of a sob.

"Onoda?" Naruko called out, his normally loud voice toned down with concern. Onoda's head snapped up and, upon recognizing his teammate, he looked away.

"Naruko, I…I-I'm sorry…"

The redhead nearly gawked. Despite looking on the verge of crying, the otaku was trying to apologize for breaking down.

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." Naruko insisted, shaking his head. He sat down beside Onoda and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Hell, the teacher should have at least asked if you were alright."

Onoda leaned against him, grateful for the warm presence. "I…I didn't think that it would be so bad."

When the other looked at him questioningly, Onoda continued. "I've never liked giving speeches. Even so, I thought I could do it. I memorized my entire speech, and I know it, I really do, but then…it just hit me, all of a sudden. Right when I walked into class I got…scared."

Naruko couldn't say that he understood the sentiment; he reveled in being the center of attention. He could easily blow off any trivial matters and if he messed up, well, so what? The redhead couldn't care less of what others thought of him. However, it was very clear that the same was not true for his teammate.

"Well, lots of people are afraid of public speaking," Naruko said. Honestly he wasn't quite sure how to help the other with this fear, but that damn sure didn't mean he wouldn't try. "Nothing to feel bad about!"

"I guess." He admitted, though he sounded no less disappointed in himself. "But everyone else did really well with their speeches."

"Who cares? That's them, not you. I for one would rather listen to you all day instead of listening to everyone else sound smarter than they really are."

His simple yet effective response started to ease the weight of humiliation and self-belittlement that had previously attacked him. "…how do you do it? Being so confident in front of a bunch of people, I mean."

Naruko shrugged. "I dunno. I just kind of…am. Nothing's more fun than being able to show off! And if they refuse to accept how awesome I am, then they can deal with it. Their problem, not mine."

"I wish I could be more like that," Onoda mumbled. "It's no wonder why people like to watch you. You're really brave and cool."

"I know right?" He said, face glowing under the praise before he switched his attention to the more important topic. "But that doesn't mean you should try to be like me. I like the way you are. You're super smart and cool in your own way."

"Really?" He questioned with a hint of shyness, having not expected the compliments.

"Yep! You're more interesting than anyone else in the room. So when you redo your speech, just do your best and be proud of it. Screw what anyone else thinks."

"You make it sound so easy." Onoda gave a small laugh. The cheerful sound caused Naruko's smile to widen.

"That's because it is! I know you can do it. Besides, even if they don't care about what you're talking about, they should definitely be happy to be able to look at you."

"Huh?" Onoda looked at him in utter confusion.

Naruko's kind grin widened, sincere but with a hint of mischievousness. "You're cute as hell, Onoda."

A blush rose to the otaku's face, which he tried to hide behind his hands. "N-Naruko!"

The redhead laughed and, not missing a beat, briefly pressed his lips to Onoda's cheek. He simply couldn't resist how adorable the other looked.

The contact lasted no longer than a couple seconds before Naruko pulled away, eyes shining fondly. Onoda paused, reddening further as he fully registered the action.

Naruko had kissed him on the cheek. Warmth blossomed in Onoda's chest and he couldn't help the happy little smile that crossed his face. Naturally, questions came to mind concerning their relationship.

However, when Onoda looked at the other, he felt no immediate desire to voice them. This was Naruko, who was never afraid to show how he felt. Whatever that particular kiss meant, one thing was for certain; he truly meant what he said and cared for Onoda—maybe even more than Onoda would have ever guessed.

Right now, that was enough. They had plenty of time to talk about it later, when they weren't sitting on a school bathroom floor.

"…thank you for helping me, Naruko."

"No problem. Think you'll be okay? We can totally ditch class today if you want."

"No, that's fine." Onoda appreciatively responded. "I'm still nervous about giving the speech, to be honest, but I think I can manage it. Maybe I can ask to redo it next week so I can practice more."

"Great! You can practice in front of me and the rest of the bike club if you want." Naruko suggested, and then pulled away. He got to his feet, stretched, and then held his hand out.

Onoda accepted the hand and stood. Gratefulness welled up inside him, along with the sudden whim to show it. Not allowing himself time to think it over, he moved forward and wrapped his arms around the other in a hug.

Although he hadn't expected it, Naruko gladly returned the embrace. "How about we go to Akiba after club today?"

The raven haired teenager gasped, pulling away to look gleefully at Naruko. "Really?!" His eyes sparkled with joy at the prospect.

"Of course! I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

"Yes! A new special edition figurine comes out today." Onoda grasped Naruko's hand and started to pull him out of the bathroom. "Come on, let's get back to class before the teacher thinks we've ditched class. We can't afford to be punished with extra assignments when we have Akiba to go to!"

Laughing, the redhead allowed himself to be pulled along by the eager otaku, enjoying every moment of the other's happiness.


End file.
